The First Time I Hit a Steam Roller

    At the time that this happened I wasn’t even aware that this deadly smoke contraption had a particular name. It just looked like an oversized pipe to me, and I had no clue this waterless bong-looking item was usually referred to as a steam roller. Quite the appropriate name considering the thick, thunderous buildup of smoke someone can pull through these things. Since a steam roller is essentially a pipe that is closer to the size of a bong except minus the water, you can get massive, milky, but also harsh hits out of it. That’s exactly what I did without knowing I was going to do it.

    I went to a typical high school party and thought I was sitting pretty with my three little pre-rolled joints. I had a great time sharing the joints with people and trying people’s pipes, but then when I came inside again I noticed this massive glass pipe which looked like it should be filled with water. When I asked the owner why he wasn’t using any water in his bong he just laughed and told me the glass is no bong at all, just a pipe. He demonstrated how to hit it and put his whole hand at the back of the pipe to cover the large hole, which I then realized was the carb when he took his hand off and inhaled. He offered me some of his weed for a try at it so of course, being polite, I couldn’t refuse. Within a second or two I was already watching so much smoke fill the chamber so fast that I wasn’t quite sure how this would end up, because I was pretty inexperienced at this point when it came to obnoxiously large volumes of smoke. I choked and gagged and truthfully came right to the edge of vomiting, but luckily managed to keep myself composed enough to utter some sort of thank you before stumbling off to find my friends. I will always recommend until the day I die to start slow with any steam roller you come across because you won’t know what hit you if you underestimate it.